Bridesmaid tries to kick out wedding guest because her yellow dress looked white under the blacklights at the reception, bride and groom couldn't care less: '[You] should have left when asked because it made people uncomfortable'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 15, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Every non-bride who shows up to a wedding wearing a white ballgown knows they're in the wrong. No matter what they say, they are fully aware that this action is a surefire way to get attention, and they care more about that than the feelings of the bride. 

Most of us have enough common sense not to wear white to a wedding, but what about those borderline wedding guest fashion rules? You're supposed to wear something formal but not too attention-grabbing. If you wear too bright colors or a fashion-forward silhouette, you might be accused of trying to take attention away from the bride and her party. I'm still thinking about how the bright pink dress I wore to a wedding in November of 2022 might not have been appropriate for autumn. 

A wedding guest was recently asked to leave by a member of the wedding party for wearing a yellow dress that looked white under backlights that were turned on during the reception. Of all the absurd wedding guest fashion rules, this is the most absurd one I've ever heard. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10428765952
    via Gabe Pierce

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to leave a wedding because I wore a dress that looks white under a black light?
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    A few months ago I attended a close friend's wedding with my husband. I wore a YELLOW dress. Think like Belle in Beauty of the beast yellow. Bumble bee yellow. So yellow that I did not question if it was appropriate or not to wear to a wedding and neither did my friends nor family.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    I arrive at the wedding, we have the ceremony, the cocktail hour, the dinner and the reception. I get many compliments on the dress and the bride even comments on how much she loves it several times. Towards the end of the reception the venue dimmed the lights and turned on some blacklights. These blacklights made my dress appear more white than yellow.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    A member of the wedding party approached me while the blacklights were on and stated that I needed to leave because my dress was "white" and "inappropriate." I stated that the dress was yellow but the blacklights were making it appear white. The member of the wedding party stated that if i didn't leave she would "make me." I stated I'm here to celebrate my friend, repeated that the dress was yellow and said I will not be leaving early (bride and groom hadn't left yet and I came from overseas). T
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    The wedding party member walked off and I watched as they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction. The groom shrugged and continued to dance.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    The next morning I was approached by a different friend at breakfast (not in the wedding party) who stated that they heard what happened and that I should have left when asked because it made people "uncomfortable" and that I made it about me "partying" rather than "respecting wedding etiquette.”
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    I have felt incredibly embarrassed about this since…...so am I the a_h_le for not leaving the wedding when asked? TLDR: Wore yellow dress that looked white under black lights. Was asked to leave by a member of the wedding party. Didn't leave. Told I made others uncomfortable by a friend the next day.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    Ducky818 ⚫1d ago • Craptain [188] NTA. Who checks their attire under black lights to see if it "passes"? Ridiculousness. I understand if it appeared white under normal lights but c'mon, this was an unusual situation at the end of the reception. You are fine and whomever approached you was completely and utterly out of line. Some people have nothing better to do than look for problems that don't exist.
    via u/Ducky818
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    Consistent_Olive_604 OP I agree about passing it under a blacklights beforehand, it's not something I even thought about.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    ZombieHealthy2616 • 1d ago Part ipant [1] no one would have because its unreasonable. Also, every pastel or lighter toned dress would have looked white under the black light. Take a photo of the dress and send it to anyone who asks simply with "this is the dress - you tell me if it looks white. What you have here is a bridesmaid who was too angry drank to behave like a reasonable person and I was not going to leave the wedding because the bridesmaid was sloppy drink."
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
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    Let THAT narrative take over. Or, post the photo of you in the dress at the wedding on social media - with: "I need, from the court of public opinion, to find out if this dress looks white in any way shape or form. Because I went to a wedding a few weeks ago in this dress and got yelled ay by a dr_nk bridesmaid that I needed to leave because I was wearing a white dress.... I'm so confused..." Post that it will reset the narrative. -
    via u/ZombieHealthy2616
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    Konouchii This person wanted to be a "hero" at the wedding, but failed to understand the BRIDE and GROOM didn't care. Unless they are upset, who cares NTA
    via u/Konouchii
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    Outside_Narwhal3784 The bride saw your dress before hand and didn't have a problem with it. Did you talk to the bride after the fact? I'd be willing to bet she didn't give two it looked white under a black light. People just like to find sh to complain about. F'em. NTA.
    via u/Outside_Narwhal3784
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    Ghost3022 The person in the wedding party went to the groom and the groom didn't side with them. This should tell you all you need to know. If it was distressing the bride, you would have been asked to leave by the bride or groom. And the person didn't whine to the bride because it was not an issue for the actual bride. This was someone who was clearly jealous of either you or your dress. The
    via u/Ghost3022
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    couple getting married didn't ask you to leave. They are the only opinions that matter because you were there to celebrate the bridal couple, not anyone else. Don't stress this. If it was a real issue, the bride and groom would have done the asking!
    via u/Ghost3022
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    rosered936 If the lights are making people uncomfortable by altering colors, turn off the black lights.
    via u/rosered936
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    One_Ad_704 Plus this was at the end of the reception. Didn't everyone see that OP's dress was yellow up until the blacklight was turned on? This is like when a student is carded for a dress code violation in 5th or 6th period, aka way too late in the day.
    via u/One_Ad_704
  • 19
    sugarsyrupguzzler NTA. Did the bride even care? Sounds like friends making pointless drama considering they went to the groom, not the bride. And if the bride cared, the groom would have known. You might give the bride a call and explore. If she was offended, apologize and explain. It's up to her to accept or not. I mean, it's not like your dress was white during the ceremony.
    via u/sugarsyrupguzzler
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    Consistent_Olive_604 OP I have seen the bride and groom since and they acted completely fine and normal. I was too scared to bring it up, but if they were really mad I don't think they would be the types to reach out and hang out.
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604
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    TyrionsRedCoat You're nicer than me because I would be spilling ALL that tea.
    via u/TyrionsRedCoat
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    Avlonnic2 Let me get this right. You came from overseas, investing quite a lot of money, to attend a wedding. The bride heartily approved your attire. Then someone decides to change the lighting and you are treated like that? And the bride/groom didn't put an immediate stop to their incredibly ride wedding-party-attire-police? Unacceptable on the part of the bride and groom. You are owed a huge apology. NTA.
    via u/Avlonnic2
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    TyrionsRedCoat The bride probably had no clue what her busybody friend was up to.
    via u/TyrionsRedCoat
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    Armadillo_of_doom ΝΤΑ After the honeymoon I'd reach out to the bride and apologize for how white the dress looked under blacklight, and say you had no idea blacklights would be used or you would have worn a different color. When she acts confused, tell her who started drama. She'll sort them out.
    via u/Armadillo_of_doom
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    dystopiadattopia I have a feeling that "others" was the person who complained.
    via u/dystopiadattopia
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    Consistent_Olive_604 OP I have a similar suspicion lol
    via u/Consistent_Olive_604

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dresses yellow wedding party wedding drama bridesmaids reddit story white wedding bridesmaid wedding dress dress reddit thread Reddit reception weddings
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